He's The Firestarter

In most rounds the biggest fear is: What if the beer-cart girl doesn't show soon? (Please read this to the tune of Firestarter in the clip below.)

But on a crackling, arrid, windy, summer day about six years ago at Poppy Ridge Golf in Livermore, Rean Dader's crisis was: What if I burn to death in a ring of fire that I started with my shot in tall, dry grass?

I had just recently met Rean when we drove an hour to the amazing course to strap it on against aged warriors Charlie "double socks" and David "the rudest man in golf." We were young and svelte then so Rean and I walked the course while the elder dudes galavanted in their cart. It had to have been about 95-degrees, with 25 mph winds and about 20-percent humidity. Or, what we call in California: Fire Weather.

The old dudes slapped their drives. I followed and split the fairway (uh, right.) Rean took a mighty cut and duffed one about 60 yards into the brown stuff in front of the tee box. The grass was taller than what you might find in an Oakland grow-house.

Rean, a stubborn Okie, would not reload on the 6th hole tee box at Merlot. Poppy has three 9 hole layouts with a wine theme, each named after, guess what, wine veriatals! The others being Zinfandel and Boone's Farm. No, Chardonnay.

I stood to the side slightly in front, looking ahead to spot his ball. Instead, I hear a "snap," like someone cracking a whip. I swivel my head and see Rean shaking his water bottle at little smoldering flames starting to leap near his legs. A spark from his club hitting a pebble must have caused it.

Soon, the flames encircled his waist and he had to run for it. He had gone down, down, down and the flames went higher. And it burned, burned, burned and became a ring of fire. Rean came and joined me as we tried to catch up to our partners. Groundskeepers saw the fire and tried to put it out with their hoses. Charlie just groused: "What took you guys so long?"

We finished out the hole at the same time the fire had spread and roared west down a hill towards the 7th hole on Merlot. Meanwhile, the course had activated every single sprinkler to try to fight the flames.

I recall the 7th hole so vividly because it might have been the only one I had parred in the round. Not only that, I hit all my shots through sprinklers and smoke. My 50-foot putt parted water on the green and sank into the hole for my miracle 4 on the 400 yard par four. Shades of Caddyshack.

The flames kept spreading west. The course crews had lost and had to call in the California Department of Forestry. I guess that about 20-acres burned. One CDF member suffered a sprained ankle on the hill.

We somehow kept playing. Charlie could care less about the inferno as it was slowing HIS round. Rean had turned white. At the turn he gave his name to course management. A few holes later he gave a statement to a CDF captain. Course management was sort of kissing his ass, letting slip that another golfer had been burned in a similar accident.

To this day we regret that Rean did not try to parlay the incident into free golf for life. We were just back there the other day and are proud to report the landscape is recovering but still slightly charred.

Poppy ranks as one of my favorite Bay Area spots. It is fun golf without too much pretense and has a fantastic range, short game area and putting greens. You can get mid-week rounds with a cart for about $50. Poppy Ridge, Feel The Burn.

Coyote Bites Golfer's Wallet!

I have played most high-end, public courses in the Bay Area. Coyote Creek golf in San Jose clipped me for $80 recently on a mid-week round and it definitely WAS NOT WORTH IT.

You can get on Stonetree in Marin, Wente in Livermore or Poppy Ridge for under $80, and those courses are all better and more interesting. Coyote, a Jack Nicklaus venture, is worth about $45 but I guess because it's Silicon Valley it's going to stick it to people. The other courses I mentioned also provide not just better golf but a better golf experience.

For years I had driven by Coyote Creek on U.S. 101. It has two courses, Tournament and Valley, that always looked extremely golfy and inviting. My friend Bete Planchfield and I finally decided to take the plunge.

I looked at the scorecard and decided to play the Tournament course from the whites, about 6400 yards, since it had a hefty slope of 137. The front nine proved interesting, though too many holes alongside the freeway with power-lines directly over head. Some of us golf to escape, and a roaring highway doesn't help.

The first sign something was wrong was on the second hole when my ball found a large puddle in a trap, on a sunny dry day at 11 a.m. A decent course should not have a mother-effing puddle in a green-side trap. I noticed the traps did not have sand as much as a semi-cement.

The greens were good, receptive but true and pretty quick. The front had some fun dogleg holes, back to back par 5s, some gimmicky short par 4s and manageable par 3s. But the design feature of this course soon became apparent--little marshes in the middle of the par 5s or just in front of the greens on the par 3s.

You can score well on this course because of the ease of the par 3s, broad fairways and rough that allows you to make productive shots.

Play was a little slow and of course not a marshal in sight.

The back nine was boring, flat and nothing terribly noteworthy. The course does not have a signature hole.

My partner hit a sand shot and gasped in horror. Not at his shot but at the tar-like goo clinging to his wedge. Apparently, the traps don't have enough sand in them so he must have dug his club into the liner, which is often comprised of recycled tire shreds.

By the time we got to about the 15th hole the attention spans had shrunk. We both looked at each other and said: We paid $80 for this?

It's not a bad course. But if you are going to charge a premium you have to provide a bit more. The range and practice areas are large and in good shape.

Shot an 88, 41-47, despite a blow-up from a blown flop shot, a butchered par 3 and an approach that found water on the 17th.